What the hell

I'm graduating in less than 24 hours. Where have the last four years gone?

See, look. Here's proof!  http://images.plurk.com/3490400_d6d6e3214948dd480537ab16142b6ca8.jpg

Freshman year - started high school. scariest year of my life, but still a lot of fun. I met of a lot of amazing people this year that made high school much more bearable.

Sophomore year - Kind of a blur right now, I'll add more later. Edit: Yep, still don't remember much about sophomore year...

Junior year - Best marching season ever, hands down. I'm gonna miss junior year.

I'm going out to buy my graduation dress soon with Natalie... and it still hasn't hit me that everything that has happened in the past four years will be nothing but countless memories dwelling in my head.  I miss Richards so much on days like this.  When I first saw myself in the mirror with my cap, I shivered.  I can't believe its finally coming to an end.  I feel like this year was two months long, which isn't nearly long enough for me.  Prom wasn't as fun as I'd expected it to be, marching band blew with the new bitch of a director, and I had some other really weird things happen.  I hope graduation is something that I'll remember forever, unlike every other normal day in the neighborhood.  I don't have anything to really look forward to over the summer because my parents don't act like they want to go anywhere, so hopefully I'll spend the majority of my summer with my friends when they're home.

I'll add more to this entry later.

Edit: I got my grad dress. My mom says its too short, do I care? No. :) I love it.  

http://images.plurk.com/3490400_ee2f67ec92b44658e7b18b413718b6e1.jpg

i haven't used xanga in forever and i'm deciding to use it because i'm falling apart. when i figure out how to put all my frustration into proper english, i'll post it here.

The past 3-4 months have been an insane emotional rollercoaster. In July, I went to Georgia for 10 days with Emily and had the time of my life. In August, I tried out for drum major and didn't make it. Instead, I made woodwind captain.

The weekend before band camp was heartbreaking.  Emily decided to sleep over at my house one night, no big deal.  We wake up the next morning and go downstairs, only to see my uncle sitting at his computer.  I ask him where my dad is, his response is quiet and calm.

"He's in the ER with your mom. Around 7 this morning, I found her on the floor in the living room, half passed out without her oxygen. Your dad and I put her oxygen on her and waited a little longer to see if she would get any better. Then she started hallucinating so we called 911 and they took her away. I'm so sorry."

Within seconds, I was on the floor sobbing.  Emily stayed over for another night to make sure I was okay. My mom's fine now.

After that epidemic, band camp started.  Band camp this year... was completely different than I had ever expected. I didn't enjoy it much, but I have a new role as section leader.

School started about a month ago and its nothing I've ever expected.  It's not as exciting as I thought it would be.  I'm stressed out beyond belief... and I don't know what to do about it.  I stopped the horrible habit I've had for almost 4 years in June and I'm going strong without it.

The last three days have made such an impact on me.

Thursday - I had my first rehearsal with 272 people who ended up changing my life completely. I remember walking into West Potomac, not knowing what to expect, what to hear, anything. I thought the altos sounded pretty alright during sectionals, all I could wonder is how we'd sound as a choir. Sectionals turned into a full choir rehearsal and boy, was I amazed. I couldn't wait for the next day.

Friday - After first block, we get on a bus and head to a full day of singing. I was so excited to get to know all these people better and meet my conductor.  Hours go by, things start sounding better and better with each note; We really start sounding like a true honors choir. At the end of the day, I felt exhausted... but I was so ecstatic that I couldn't think about anything else.

Saturday - Hands down, the best and most satisfying performance I've ever been a part of.  There was so much energy and I could see it, feel it and hear it all around me. Every moment on the stage, I felt so humbled to have been there with such an amazing group of people. All of the pure, raw, emotion around me felt amazing. We weren't just singing, we were the music. We embodied it and became the music and it was the greatest feeling in the world. I thought I was dreaming... I wasn't.

<3